


Master procrastinator

by ShortcakeCrow



Category: Dangan Ronpa - All Media Types, New Dangan Ronpa V3: Everyone's New Semester of Killing
Genre: Alternate Universe - Hope's Peak Academy (Dangan Ronpa), Humor, M/M, Self-Indulgent, a lot of gay thoughts, and internal gushing
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-11-06
Updated: 2018-11-06
Packaged: 2019-08-19 22:38:39
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,289
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16543640
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ShortcakeCrow/pseuds/ShortcakeCrow
Summary: It’s past 10PM. Ouma Kokichi has just spent the last several hours of his life scrolling endlessly on his phone laughing at fucking memes instead of reviewing the material for the exam that according to Toujou his ‘entire life hinges on’, but what can you do? It’s not his fault if he can’t keep his attention on it for more than 5 seconds at a time; no, he should take it upon himself and exact justice on the pitiful publisher who dared to let this portable lullaby slip out into the hands of so many innocents.





	Master procrastinator

It’s past 10PM. Ouma Kokichi has just spent the last several hours of his life scrolling endlessly on his phone laughing at fucking memes instead of reviewing the material for the exam that according to Toujou his ‘entire life hinges on’, but what can you do? It’s not his fault if he can’t keep his attention on it for more than 5 seconds at a time; no, he should take it upon himself and exact justice on the pitiful publisher who dared to let this portable lullaby slip out into the hands of so many innocents.

Saihara had even taken it upon himself to attempt to lend him his own copy earlier, words diligently marked with color coded pens, carefully scribbled notes filling each margin, and Ouma would have taken it from his hands quite graciously - any gift from _Saihara-chan_ is a treasure - if he wouldn’t have known that he’d just end up dumping it out of boredom soon enough anyway. It’s not like he’s bad at studying at all, oh no; as kind as it was for Saihara to offer, Ouma has no need for help, really.

He just lacks any kind of willpower when it comes to something he can’t be bothered to be interested in, that’s all.

He already remembers plenty enough without having to study more to be able to pass that dumbass exam anyway! And cheating is always a last resort that he’s willing to take - those extra points are well-deserved for the delicate methods with which he operates, though lately Amami has started showing him up with his own -, so it’s not like there’s any chance of failing. In fact, he could probably get perfect marks if he actually cared about such a thing - if it wasn’t so amusing to have class rep Saihara nervously hover around him and all the other misfits to try to keep them above water to the best of his abilities like some kind of mother duck trying to teach its chicks how to swim.

Still, he should really at least read it over once-

He quiets down _that_ voice in his head, rolling over onto his other side and simultaneously hitting his head on the frame of his bed. He curls up with a dramatic shriek; if their rooms weren’t soundproof, someone would be banging on his door by now to get him to keep it down. All the goody two shoes are asleep already.

He leaps from his bed as soon as his pounding headache subsides enough for him to not fall flat on his face immediately, eagerly approaching the door and gingerly laying his palm against the surface. The only thing separating him from freedom is this measly piece of wood - actually, he has no idea what it’s made of, probably because he was busy attempting to find Kiibo’s snooze button while Toujou explained it to everybody on day 1 -; he knows where each and every security camera is and how to avoid them, so even if it’s prohibited to go out at nighttime, he will not let such a small obstacle stand in his way.

He quietly pushes the door open, locking it without a sound after he steps outside.

The floor is cold against his bare feet, but he doesn’t mind; a good supreme leader has to make sacrifices sometimes, and he wants to make sure he’ll make the least amount of possible noise. He creeps across the hallways one by one; he’d be using his walls as his guide in the dark if he hadn’t memorized the map of the academy long ago already. He could probably recall it in his sleep - which he does need to do quite often when he dozes off in class without being detected, only being woken up by the sound of Momota violently slamming into the door on his way out, because that moron is way too focused on blabbering to pay attention to where his feet are taking him.

Saihara used to be concerned about it at the start; by now, he’s so used to it he mostly just cracks a sheepish smile or snickers.

Saihara’s snickers are cute. He covers his mouth when he laughs, averting his gaze on instinct, as though trying to spare whoever he happens to be laughing at from the presumed embarrassment of it. Sometimes he laughs at Ouma’s pranks, and it’s almost as cute as the concerned frown he wears whenever Ouma goes to him to proudly brag about some injury he’s gotten - mostly smaller cuts or scrapes, though he’d probably take a bullet if it meant _Saihara-chan_ would be treating him personally -, eager to have his undivided attention. _Almost._ Ouma also likes it when Saihara gently scolds him, though, his brows furrowing lightly as he digs through his pockets for one of the bandaids he’d learned to carry around the boy a long time ago.

His train of thought is interrupted when he reaches for the kitchen door and realises that it’s locked, and has to search his own pockets so he can pick the lock. _Tsk, tsk,_ they underestimate him if they think they can keep him out so easily. He’d gone through much more trouble to obtain things much less valuable than a late night snack - besides, reliable class rep Saihara would no doubt get him out of any kind of trouble even if he somehow managed to get himself caught.

The satisfying _click_ is music to his ears; he steps into the kitchen without further ado, heading straight for the refrigerator in the back. He has plenty of panta in the minifridge he’d smuggled into his room, so that’s no problem - Toujou had only let him off the hook about it after Yumeno managed to collapse in her room from dehydration, too lazy to go all the way to the kitchen for water - but seeing as how Toujou regularly checks his belongings herself when she cleans his room, keeping snacks is rather difficult, especially when they need to be kept cold.

He muses about asking Saihara to become his accomplice as he bites down on a cake, the slice disappearing in mere moments, albeit leaving behind a very visible trace. That’s just fine; a good prankster knows how to cover up his tracks.

After he’s finished with his improvised munching session, he picks up the last slice, proceeding to eat it on the way back, leaving a faint trail of crumbs behind that would no doubt be ignored by anyone but miss ultimate maid. He keeps his snickers to a minimum, not only to avoid being spotted but also since he’d rather not choke - unless it’s by Saihara’s hands in the comfort of his warm bed, but oh no right now isn’t the time to be thinking about that. He has a very important task to do.

Once he arrives back at the hallway of the dormitory, he heads towards Momota’s door without hesitation, simply sliding the now empty paper platter the cake had been placed on underneath the door. He dusts his hands off afterwards - a job well done, if he says so himself -, returning to his own room quite cheerfully, resuming his browsing session and _occasionally_ glancing at the textbook next to him just to keep the tiny Saihara in his head satisfied.

He wakes up to what appears to be an attempt at breaking his door down in the morning, and he takes his time just enough with waddling over for half of the class to dogpile Momota before he can sock him in the face.

Ouma flashes a wide grin before he closes his door again, spotting a very displeased Toujou in the corner of his eye in the last second.

**Author's Note:**

> i wanted to write smth short real quick since i havent written a oneshot in a really long time rip  
> i wanna write more saiibo like i used to but i dont wanna just force stuff out so ill prolly wait until i have some good ideas or something


End file.
